The Bristol Stomp: A Lyric Essay Competition

Yes, our favorite Dancing with the Stars contestant is writing her memoir, and yes, there are far too many awful  jokes made possible by yesterday’s announcement.  But we won’t make those jokes.  Instead, we quote an exchange found on Facebook today between the master memoirists Sue William Silverman and Robin Hemley (and read even further down for your chance to win big bucks).

SUE :  Bristol Palin is “writing” a memoir! Really? Can’t we find another term, other than “memoir,” to describe what it is nonwriters write when they produce “something” that more or less resembles a book from the outside?  Here is a description of her nonbook: “Twenty-year-old Bristol Palin has wisdom she wants to share with us all, and she…’ll do it in book form.” Am anxiously awaiting “wisdom.”

ROBIN: I’m thinking of getting her as the keynote speaker at the next NonfictioNow Conference. I loved her series of lyric essays in Seneca Review, didn’t you, Sue?

Robin is kidding, of course.  Bristol’s lyric essays were rejected by the Seneca Review, poor kid.

So, does anyone want to enter our NIFTY BRISTOL STOMP CONTEST?

Here are the Rules:

— In 250 words or less, write a lyric essay that might’ve come from the pen of Bristol Palin.

— send it to brevitymag@gmail.com, DEADLINE Monday, Feb. 14th, 4 pm EST.

— the best ones will be reprinted here.

— Winner gets $25!!!