No MFA for Me

August 12, 2016 § 6 Comments


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Tim Druggan-Eppich

Tim Drugan-Eppich provides a wry new perspective on our “What Good is the MFA?” series:

I won’t get an MFA because if I’m a bad writer to my core, I might as well fail quickly and heroically — sparing workshops and professors from my mediocre narratives. If I’ve got “it,” I can read, and then emulate what I read. Wasn’t it Macho Man Randy Savage who said “the cream rises to the top?”

I won’t get an MFA because no matter how excellent the suggestions of my peers or professors, I can’t improve until I look at my writing and realize, “Jesus Christ, whoever wrote this is a moron!”

I won’t get an MFA because the classroom is not where I shine. I forget to read other’s work, forget to provide feedback, and then wonder why nobody likes me. Would you want me in your class? No, you would not. I’m a miserable person to have around.

Oh, and also money. MFAs require at least some, and I have none.

So, no more school for me, which is all right. Scooping ice cream isn’t that bad, and without another degree to pay for, it almost covers rent.

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Tim Drugan-Eppich (@timdruganeppich) is mediocre — statistically, the most probable thing to be. He lives in Colorado with several dust bunnies and a toilet that doesn’t quite flush.

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