I Am A Genius Writer In The Night Hours As Proven By These 3 AM Ruminations Gifted By The Muse And Recorded On My Notes App

By Sarah Broussard Weaver

When I wake in the night to pee, I am often blessed by thoughts that are, quite frankly, genius-level. They just flow into my brain like manna from Heaven. I must then decide whether or not to blind myself by unlocking my brightly backlit phone and jotting them in my Notes app.

Sometimes I choose to spare my eyeballs, and the world loses these priceless ruminations. I apologize for my failings in this area, and to make up for it, I am sharing some of my actual notes, which are mind-blowing and may make the world implode when they are released, pure and unadulterated, into so many minds at once.

These are presented just as they flowed down to me, so they are perfect and not misspelled or otherwise flawed. Respect the Muse. If you use any as a writing prompt, please send a small token of your gratitude. I do accept PayPal.

1. In those nights if waking sweating and shoving off blankets to be turned cold and shivering
2. Ideas for what happened to trumps something
3. Dad is missing link
4. Brain doesn’t make connections roads maps oh how did we end up here?
5. Trump America rules- dead rat hair sexiest
6. It’s quite right then I something it’s kind of right that something it’s not right at all that something
7. Here comes a jelly roll all dressed up and ready to go
8. Adraid of world never been in by hone school
9. Things I’m surprised the president has not gotten defensive about- hair etc
10. potato chip walls
11. Beautiful names for ugly things bluebottle fly cabbage rose opposite?
12. Lit critmy life
13. Maybe c mixed with bup and sert
14. Leaky vessel making drops of life
15. I can’t tell how much is passing I keep staring at my burge
16. He says affected him sleepingly
17. This busy world writing is what makes me know what I think, because I think these things and I don’t have anyone to say them to for everyone is busy and we’re all busy really that my notebook or laptop is always there when I have time to try to figure out what it is that makes us human or that makes me long for thaT

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Sarah Broussard Weaver’s essays have been published in Hippocampus, Full Grown People, The Nervous Breakdown, and The Bitter Southerner, among others. She graduated last month from University of Portland, and is now a nervous MFA applicant who refreshes her email too often. Find her at sbweaver.com or tweet her @sarahbweaver.