How’s This Hollywood Writers and Actors Strike Going for You?

By Karen Rizzo

I saw an acquaintance at a coffee shop the other day—a funny screenwriter I worked with briefly—and his partner, also a writer. Of course, I wondered how he was doing during this Hollywood writers/actors strike. After all, we were kind of in the same boat. My husband, James, who usually makes his living as an actor, was working only the picket lines. As a freelance writer, I was in In-Between Gigs Purgatory.

As I approached my acquaintance’s table we made eye contact and I put my hand up to wave. He frowned and seemed to swallow hard. Huh, I thought, maybe a piece of his croissant went down the wrong way. Once at his table, I smiled at him and his partner. Both seemed visibly uncomfortable, which I took to mean that neither wanted to talk about the sad state of employment half of Los Angeles was experiencing. I understood, sure. No one in “the business” ever wants to admit they have nothing going on. It’s the equivalent of saying you’re at work on your own obituary. I, too, was weary of the same well-meaning question from family and friends: “What are you and Jim working on?” to which I now reply with slack face.

So I said, “Hey, just wanted to say hello. See how you were holding up—”

“We’re moving!” he blurted out before I could finish my sentence.

“Oh, well, cool,” I said, somewhat surprised.

“Yeah. To Europe. We’re so busy. So much to do.”

“Wow, great, ‘cause I was wondering how you were—”

“We’re great! Sooo busy. So much to do. Working like ten hour days to get ready, you know?”

“Sure, yeah,” I said. “I mean, it would take me a week just to go through my sock drawer alone.”

“Exactly, yes!” he said. “So much to do.”

“Where are you—“

“Spain,” he said. “Portugal,” his partner chimed in at the same time.

“I hear that’s a go-to destination…and so is that…”

“Well, it’s not set in stone! Maybe Baja. Brazil!” he shouted. They stared at me, nodding.

“Okay, well, good luck! Nice to see you.”

“You, too!” they said in unison.

Back at my table, Jim asked how they were doing.

“Apparently they’re busy moving.”

“Where?”

“Out of the country.”

“Wow,” he said. “Wow.”

“That’s a good answer,” I said. “Maybe we should start telling people that when they ask us what we’re doing.”

“That we’re moving? Out of the country?”

“Yeah, right? I mean, we could get away with saying that for, like, at least a year. Maybe more. It’s really good.”

“True. Because my sock drawer alone would take—”

“Exactly. And how ‘bout our kitchen drawer, the one we’ve been throwing shit in for twenty years?” I added.

“Yes! Okay. So that’s our story. We’re moving. Out of the country. It’s a great answer.”

“And then when the strike ends we can say we changed our minds.”

“Exactly. Or not.”

“Or not.”

“What do we tell the kids?”

“I don’t know. That alone will take us a month to figure out.”

“We’re gonna be so busy.”

_____

Karen Rizzo is the author of the novel Famous Baby—a Los Angeles Times and Zoe Report Summer Reading pick—and Things to Bring, S#!T to Do… and other inventories of anxiety—a BookSense/IndieBound pick for Best of The Year. Karen’s stories and essays have been featured on NPR and in the New York Times, Los Angeles Times, Salon, Runner’s World, Beatrice, Publishers Weekly, Fresh Yarn, the NY Times anthology Tiny Love Stories and Life’s A Stitch: The Best of Contemporary Women’s Humor. Find her website here and follow her on Instagram.