Mama Cocks the Shotgun: Bristol’s Finest Lyric Essays

February 17, 2011 § 4 Comments


To review: Bristol Palin is reportedly writing her memoir.

Memoirist Sue William Silverman found this idea somewhat absurd, given that Palin’s life so far has included 1) being a rather flawed spokesperson for abstinence, and 2) Dancing with the Stars. Memoirist Robin Hemley made a joke about Bristol’s possible future as a lyric essayist.  We here at Brevity, deep into our third bottle of Malbec, decided that a Bristol Palin Lyric Essay Competition was just the thing to brighten a dull February.

Yesterday we posted some of our favorite lines from the numerous, wonderful, rich-with-grizzly-bear entries.

Today, we post our winner, and two runners-up.

And then we promise never to mention Bristol Palin again.

Here goes:

THE $25 whopping American dollars WINNER:

Nine Months to Now

A Lyric Essay by Bristol ‘She-Ra’ Palin

As told to Laurie Ann Cedilnik

I.

Mama cocks the shotgun, and we’re off. She has her target, I mine. Her words are bullets, and they fall without mercy. I am hit. Utterly without protection. His seed is a hail of bullets, and I do not duck.

II.

Really craving pickles this month.

*** CONTINUE READING HERE  ***

The Nifty Runners Up:

Aurora Borealis

A Lyric Essay by Bristol Palin

As told to John Warner

It’s lonely in Alaska. That’s why families are big, so there’s always someone else around, but your family isn’t around, and maybe that’s why you fall into the arms of the handsomest hockey player in town, let him take your clothes off, let him place his hands on your hips and look at you and bring his lips to your belly and call you beautiful, which is something you’ve been taught to value.

*** CONTINUE READING HERE  ***

Ursidae

A Lyric Essay by Bristol Palin

As told to Amy Butcher

Call me Ursidae. Call me whole.

As a child, I sifted river rock from the sandy collarbone of Wasilla Lake, stood ankle-deep in the cool, crisp water.  We were twinned then, the water and I both: each of us free, each of us moving at an inexhaustible speed.  The current carried the weight of the world: dandelion seed and pollen.

It was in an inlet in October that I saw him: the bear, that hulking bulge of brown.  He stood by the water and then was in it, found a fish and took it whole.  He swallowed its flailing, flippy body down.

*** CONTINUE READING HERE  ***

Thanks to all of our awesome entrants, and congratulations to our winners, and Bristol.

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