Ten Reasons Why Women Writers Can’t Write 10,000 Words, Written by a Woman Writer
June 12, 2019 § 37 Comments
By Brianna Bell
Last week Jeffrey Goldberg, mansplainer-in-chief at The Atlantic, wrote an article appearing to suggest that women can’t write 10,000 words. Women across the world nodded their heads in unison, “Yes, Mr. Goldberg,” they said. “Finally a white man who understands us.”
I can’t write 10,000 words, because I’m a woman, of course. I can write 700 words, however, and a listicle is even better for my short attention span. As the wise Mark Twain once said, “write what you know,” and what I know is why I cannot write 10,000 words.
Here are the reasons:
Women can’t write long features because we’re so busy talking
I know that women can be long-winded, but that’s when we’re using our mouth, using our fingers to type is a completely different thing. Besides, women don’t need facts and figures to back them up when we ramble on with our words. If only we spent less time talking, we could have the gumption to write long-winded stories like white men can.
We are too busy with our families to write 10,000 words
Women work really hard to balance it all. But some dreams are just too big and insurmountable. Sure, we can write a 2,000-word feature in Good Housekeeping, but we cannot write a full cover story of 10,000 words. We can’t even read those cover stories—we skim them quickly between soccer practice or driving our elderly parent to their dentist appt (we can’t even write the full word, appointment, appt will do). There is no time to read 10,000 words, and there is definitely no time to write 10,000 words.
We prefer the personal essay
Women are such deep feelers. My feelings are so deep, an ocean can barely contain all the feelings I have, about all the things. The personal essay is perfect because it requires only feelings, no research or statistics.
The women who can write 10,000 words, write books instead
There are some women out there that are capable of writing more than their grocery list. But these energetic women decide to focus their time writing books. Although women don’t like reading 10,000-word magazine features, we love ourselves a good book. There’s nothing like chick lit and a hot bubble bath to relax us after a long day of balancing it all.
There already is one woman doing it
It is important to fill quotas, and I don’t think it’s right for men to dominate with their 10,000 words without a little bit of a challenge. Luckily, there was that one woman who wrote a cover story that one time, and so now thankfully we can say that we’ve already done it. There’s no need to put too much pressure on ourselves.
We get distracted easily
There’s nothing like a woman who flits about, from one task to the next. One minute she’s folding a load of laundry, the next she’s paying the heat bill, and then she remembers her Starbucks date with her high school friend Sally, so she’s flitted off to that. Expecting a woman to stay focused for an entire 10,000 words on a single story is an impossible expectation.
I know I said that this would be 10 points and 700 words, but I’ve been writing this at my kitchen island while my three kids, two cats, and a dog all begged for snacks and entertainment. I simply cannot finish, which proves that Mr. Goldberg was absolutely correct. Us women cannot be trusted to write 10,000 words.
For this woman writer, 590 words will do.
____
Brianna Bell is a Canadian freelance writer with work published in The Independent, CBC, and The Globe & Mail. She has never written a 10,000-word feature.
That was fun. Thank you. Now, go write that 10,000 word essay!
Amazing❤
Dripping with sarcasm. I loved it.
Depending on our age, we are too distracted by our (1) menstrual cycles, (2) hot flashes, or (3) unreliable bladders to get anywhere near 1000 words, let alone 10,000 words. Poor us….
Omg … I’m at (3). No wonder I can’t get my writing 😁
This piece confused me. From the beginning, I thought it was going to be a sarcastic one. However, as I read on, I found some points to be rather true. Were they not?
Well said. Can’t wait to read your 10,000 word cover story. That you wrote while feeding your kids, dog, cat and husband that is….
I hope this was in jest. Pardon me if l seem stupid. Yes I am a woman
Kkk you win.
That was a delightfully sick burn 🔥
Loved it.
I really enjoyed reading this!
You had me smiling and nodding my head “yes.” Thank you.
Seriously? What about the 10,000 words theses women write in order to get their PhDs?
I think we are capable but sometimes unaware of her potential and God given gifts and strength.
No wonder not many women out there become a scriptwriter.
This is the best.
I am astonished by the number of commenters who seem not to have understood Brianna Bell’s intent. Is literacy dying?
Yes, it appears so ☹️
I wish I could LOVE this! Like will have to do. Now, off to write a shopping list, if it doesn’t take too long and have too many items!
Brilliant!
O Amazing post…!!!
Regards,
Bill Megelich
(https://www.dallasnews.com/news/news/2016/06/28/business-owners-residents-angry-with-garlands-bass-pro-shops-for-lake-ray-hubbard-boat-docks-in-disrepair
)
Snap! I wish I could Love this post too. I’ll have to settle for sharing it.
I love this, that’s why I start writing and get distracted.
Great job writing what you know! I know my mission statement is 52 words! Felt like 10,000 words when I was writing it.
Fine
This has actually challenged me to take on bigger works. Thank you for your post!
Loved it. Smart. Sassy. Perfect
Thank you all for your inspiring and encouraging comments, you made me blush (easy to do, I am a woman after all).
Very good Brianna. I get the point and especially with young children. I have 7 siblings so our house was very busy. Marriage life is different and we were not able to have kids. We adopted an older boy. Yea write a books for over 10,000 words besides blogs that long are hard to keep a persons attention on.
Hi dear, I am sure a woman can write 10,000 words and more. It has to do with Maturity and growing up. Of course children and housework take lots of time but when you realize that you have a life of your own itś more easy to tell yourself: Today is my time, This moment or this Day is only for me. Then you can start writing and write from your heart, find out that time is and must be, what you want it to be. Sending all positive vibes to you.
I wholeheartedly agree, some me time and we can do anything. Women invented multitasking, but when we need to get down and write we do it, like everything else.
My first two published stories came in at 15,500 and 16,500 words. Nobody told me I wasn’t supposed to be able to do it. But those were science fiction, genre stories. I guess genre writers don’t count.
The sarcasm was almost tangible. Brilliant!
Haha! I don’t know how the original article passed me by, but thanks for bringing it to my attention with this funny take-down. We don’t need to waste 10,000 words when one four-letter word can sum him up perfectly.
[…] in case he needed to land it in an emergency. (I can’t help but read such moments in light of why men are more often solicited for intensive field-research […]
Great post, I would love to read the next posts on this subject.. Keep posting.
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